I think I am morally bankrupt
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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