I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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