But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
