I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
