well he's currently spooning the coffee table
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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