We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
