no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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