If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
