Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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