If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
