Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
you never un-have a 4some
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
