Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
