I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize