I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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