a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
