Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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