Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
