I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
