The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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