My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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