nut hugger
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
