you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
