it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
