She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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