finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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