You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
