Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I could fuck to npr.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
