my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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