Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
