smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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