She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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