So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
