so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
