Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
