You really coming over, don't trick.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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