i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
