Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
