Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize