How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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