not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
