the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
