At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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