I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
