just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
