my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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