I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
