Three words: puerto rican gang bang
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
