I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
