1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
