Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
