weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize