everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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