My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
