I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We need a shit load of segways right now
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
