Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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